I want to thank you deeply for your work. You have provided me with greatly needed knowledge and most importantly with the desire and ability to leap over established beliefs that weren’t serving me nor others. I have found your work last year, at a time most desperately needed. There are no words to describe how I feel about it looking back. I have to confess that your book Secret History of the World made me terribly angry at times and had a very strange effect on me. I followed your links and your thought trails and it was one of the most amazing journeys I took.
All the while, even at the times I was horribly depressed or angered by what I was reading, I couldn’t stay away from it for too long. Later, I found the Cassiopaea forum. I read all the advice given there and my view on supplements and diet changed drastically. I have nothing but good results to speak for it.
It took me a while to shed all my wishful thinking and accept freely that your take on interdimensional realities and the world ‘up there’ vibrates of refreshing truth, albeit unnerving at first glance. And it took me yet longer to stop thinking that all my problems were due to me being insufficient and had nothing to do with my poor diet – I used to be a non-believer in supplements and felt that being vegan was the only healthy approach.
But, maybe one of the hardest bits for me to digest was your take on OPs and psychopaths. It took a lot of determination and pondering to even bring myself to read Political Ponerology. When I finally started reading it I was flooded with vivid, telling dreams and a general feeling of liberation. It was hard, I had managed to teach myself that everyone is not only equal, but thinking and feeling the same at a deeper level. That evil is nothing but a disease that I am too weak to cure, but should be cured nonetheless.
I am now finding myself in an interesting position. I am a doctor, although I haven’t worked as such in a hospital yet, apart from the first year of practice after finishing med school. During the first month after acquiring my license, I happened to work in one of the hospitals in Greece where I saw a couple of things that I simply couldn’t handle. I suppose this goes to say how weak I was, and in a sense, I still am. Back then, I remember saying out loud to the universe, that if I risk becoming a heartless, greedy pawn, I would rather never work as a doctor.
I fell into a nasty depression for years and literally gave up on all my dreams. Because my dreams since childhood were solely about being a doctor – in my mind, a healer, not a godlike rich woman.
When I managed to pull myself together somewhat, I started studying psychology, thinking that a less invasive science that wouldn’t be filling people’s heads and bodies with chemicals were more suited to me. I stayed in the university of Sussex for a year during which time I was persuaded by one of my teachers that I was wasting my time, I was too old to pursue a career in psychology – I was 32, so I gave that up as well, feeling that indeed I have nothing to give that the world needs or cares for. That threw me in an even deeper depression that lasted for another year. Of course, being trained in medicine and knowing the ‘benefits’ of drugs I didn’t take any medication for it.
I started becoming active again only 3 years ago. I suppose I was done grieving for my dreams and buried them deep enough to start working in another job. I worked with flowers, thinking that if anything, flowers can never hurt anyone. Slowly I regained my faith in life and pushed myself to ‘grow up’ and face my own deepest desires, along with the responsibilities coming with them.
When I had read Political Ponerology and came to terms with the new notion that indeed, humans are not all hurt angels and evil is not just a disease, my papers – which I had re-filed a year ago – were suddently approved for psychiatric specialty.
I can hardly put to words the feelings this gives me. It’s as if I had to pass through years of suffering and eventually break down many self-imposed barriers in order to find the truth of what really is out there before attempting to heal it.
Now, I’m free to choose a hospital and start my specialty. Free from beaurocracy but also free from, at least some, of my own illusions, and with a completely new vision which boils down to ‘really understanding’ instead of walking blindly.
Since I’m now literally at a new beginning in my life, for which your work and efforts have played a great part, I’m plainly asking you if such a person as myself could be in any way usefull to your work.
I have nothing to show for yet, except my desire for knowledge and research, and seeing beyond the veil. But I have to lay what little I have in plain view as I feel deeply indebted to you.
With respect and love,